No Runway is Not a Runaway

With the Royal Rumble here (or gone…depending on when ol Viking finds this article in his trash folder.) time has come to lose sight of life because of VWF’s poor sense of style, even on such a special occasion.

The Runway, my dear Raindrops has nearly bankrupt the company evidentially despite being the number 1 reason fans purchased VWF’s PPV’s. You know, a recent study showed all purchases were made online?

The Runway shall be back someday I hope. But alas, now I am touring the world giving needy people the makeovers of their lives. Never have I been happier, as long as I have my handy gas mask with me. I mean honestly, the first person, her hygiene was so bad I was nearly reacquainted with the filet mignon I had earlier for dinner. It was really bad I tell you.

When I was a boy I was just like all of you. (Incredible I know.) In high school I was the tight jean short sleeve shirt spectacle wearing know it all. What happened you ask? What made me so much more charismatic and beautiful…and more glowy?


I tossed the spectacles. Tore the shirts and burned the jeans. It was college guys, supposed to be the best years of our lives. I remember hearing so many of the campus population talking about how one another looked, how one would go “I look so cool” and the other would go “I’m so beautiful, you’re ugly.” As I eavesdropped I realized they both were equally lame and trashy. And so, before I proved them wrong I had to work on myself first. And viola, Enrico became…Rrrrico! Soon, the students yielded to me along with teachers and counselors, soon I became the resident advisor and the world was mine.

Before I knew it, I was graduating, being shown off in modeling shows, but nothing captured my fancy more than hair styling, which I majored and excelled at for many years until my patience with my customers vision in apparel wore thin. Although today my profession is apparel I still every now and then pick up the clippers. It’s still a great love of mine, and I hope to open my own hair/apparel shop in the future after I retire from the VWF on a permanent basis, but right now, me and Viking’s relationship I cherish close to heart, and I know deep within it that he’s not ready to run this entire roster without me, not to mention that he’s not ready to sit in that office of his without my final touch and approval.

I shall remain loyalto my 50 year contract. Hehehehe.