Monday, February 15, 2010
The Pyros hit at the top of the ramp all the way down to the ring and on the ring posts as Crucifiction begins. The crowd are going bonkers all over the arena and there isn't a fan in his seat in this packed 17500 person arena.
KYLE BACON: Crimson! It's been brought to the attention of The VWF Universe that you're recently began filing a movie with... wait....
CRIMSON: What?
KYLE BACON: I'm getting news... there's a fight that's broken out backstage!
(The camera cuts, and is seen jostling around. It swings around, and Dr. Feelgood is seen, busted open and unconcious, laying on the ground outside by some trailers. Behind him stands The Masked Man, who has blood on his hands. He chuckles slightly, as he hears people coming, he slinks away. Dr.Jekyl and Jonny Cedrone come up with VWF EMTs behind them, ready to help out Dr. Feelgood. The camera quickly cuts to backstage; stagehands and technicians run back and forth attending to their duties; making tweaks to their equipment and double checking everything, making sure they are ready for use. In amongst the busy workforce, The Elite Playaz stand staring at a monitor having just seen the Masked Man attack Dr Feelgood.
Lee Ryan: This is getting really old! This Masked Man is becoming a real pain in the ass.
Steve Ryan: Every week this guy comes out and beats somebody down. This has got to stop.
Lee Ryan: Damn straight! I may not be on Feelgood's Christmas card list but I can’t just let him take another beating like this and not do something about it. We have enough trouble around here as it is what with The Perfect Alliance and these BCW guys trying to cause trouble. I say no more! This crap stops now. We’ve worked too damn hard to help make the VWF as popular as it is to have these guys ruin it.
Steve Ryan: What do you suggest we do then?
Lee Ryan: We take the fight to them. The Perfect Alliance, BCW, but we start with this Masked Man. We start by finding out who the hell he is and end it back kicking his ass! Whatever it takes, we stop him!
Steve Ryan: Sounds like a plan to me.
The two Ryan’s wrap knuckles and head off down the corridor.
JOEY STYLES: My God! That Masked Man has struck again! Who IS he P?
P. LICKIN: Your mom. Shouldn't we introduce the show?
JOEY STYLES: Oh... yes! Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to Crucifiction! We've got an absolutely packed card tonight!
P. LICKIN: It's so packed, Alexia had to crawl in on her knees. I just wish she'd get on her knees for me.
JOEY STYLES: And as always, Lickin, the only way that's going to happen is in your dreams, or if she gets very VERY drunk.
P. LICKIN: Hell, if all I need to do is get her drunk, I'll get my quest sponsored by Budweiser!
Joey's response is thankfully cut off as 'Blackjack' by Airbourne starts playing. The crowd takes a few seconds to realise who it is, but as the Ace Cards fly onto the screen they start roaring, which only gets louder when from the back out races Ace Andrews, dressed in his latest singlet, and wrestling pants. He pauses at the top of the ramp, and after a few seconds raises both arms high, posing for the crowd for a few seconds before jogging down the ramp, slapping hands with fans all the way down. When he reaches the ring, he doesn't immediately go in, instead choosing to slap hands with the fans around ringside.
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
Dimitri is scraped off the mat as Seth Owens shows off the prowess that made him a star of BCW and MMA in this match up, which starts with the former "Shreddin' One" trading holds with Paulson. Owens whips Paulson against the ropes, delivering a strong hip toss on the return before working Paulson's arm with an armbar. Paulson grabs the bottom rope, forcing Owens to break the hold. Paulson tags in Nobody, who charges right at Owens...who throws Nobody into the corner! Nobody is down as Owens tags in Nelly, who...slaps Nobody before tagging Owens back in!
Styles: “Well, it looks like Ace Andrews is out here to open the show, which can only mean good things for the rest of the night.”
Lickin: “What I wanna know is, where's Trippy? I'd love a chance to make her a MILF for a second time!”
Unfortunately for Lickin his comment is heard by Ace as goes to walk past. Ace stops and walks back, now glaring a hole in Lickin. Lickin gulps but Ace simply shakes his head and keeps going around the ring, slapping hands with the fans and grabbing a mike before he finally rolls into the ring. Ace pauses to stare over at Lickin again but then casually turns and paces the ring, raising the mike as he goes.
Ace: “Whats up C-Town?! Are you guys ready for one hell of a show? I mean We've got Jonny Cederone VS Dandelion, we've got Alexia VS Scott DiBiase in a Two-Falls match, we've got The Elite Playaz VS The Horde, and of course, we have Wild Tripp and Dan Ryan ready to whip, flail, and destroy the three little bitches known as New Bludz!”
The crowd, which had been getting steadily louder each time, kept cheering as Ace lowered the mike to let the crowd noise die down. Finally he raised the mike again, after glancing around at the crowd with a smirk.
Ace: “Now, I know tonight's packed, and me being out here just delays the matches, but somethings been bugging me lately, and I figure I need to get out here and say this early. See, when I first came to VWF Just over a year ago, my second match was the 2009 Royal Rumble. No-one gave me a chance in that. No-one believed I could do anything more then last maybe ten, twenty minutes. Tops. But I proved everyone wrong, because not only did I last over twenty minutes, I walked away in 3rd place, with the VWF United States Title strapped around my waist! Now, I'd love to say I was a fighting champion, ready to face anyone, and everyone week in and week out. But unfortunately, VWF went through a bit of a hard time after the Rumble, and so I never really got a chance to defend my title, and instead when The Rick took over the VWF, he stripped me of the belt for 'inactivity'. Now, I'm not an idiot, nor am I blameless. I'll admit I did screw up by only half-assing some matches, but that does NOT give him the right to strip me of the title. At least he could have done the honourable thing and asked me to drop the belt in the ring. And I would have gladly done that out of respect for both the title, and VWF the best damn fed to be in right now!”
That gets the, as expected, cheap pop and Ace starts pacing the ring, now getting into what really has been bugging him.
Ace: “Now, ever since I got back, I've been tagging with my Partner in both Life and the Ring, Trippy. And you know that one day, be it a week from now or a month, we plan on raising those Tag Titles! But right now, this concerns me more. See, ever since I once again stepped foot into a VWF Arena, I've been waiting patiently. Waiting for my chance to get my US Title back. But now I see all these other people stepping up, looking to fight for it, and I figure the best way to get Dimitri's attention, is like this. Dimitri you Commie-loving, Vodka-swilling, shaggy bastard, I want my belt back! So why don't you bring your commie ass out into this great American Arena, so I can beat you black, blue, red, white, and every other color of the rainbow, then crate your ass up and send you back to the Motherland so you can suck on her titties some more! You do NOT deserve to hold a title that represents this great country, when you represent everything there is to hate about the Russians! Hell, bring out Aleksander too, cause here in America we love to give 2-for-1 deals, and I can hand out 2 ass-kickings instead of just one!”
Ace now paces the ring, clearly agitated. There's no response from the back and Ace only waits a few more moments before speaking again.
Ace: “Come on Dimitri! We haven't got all night! Get your mouth off the Vodka Bottle, swagger out here, and accept my challenge! Don't make me come back there you Commie Bastard! Cause if I have to come to you, then you truly are going...to...get....A-”
Out of no where 'The Zoo' by The Scorpions plays throughout the arena. The fans go while as Johnny Aggression steps from behind the curtain with Dr. Feelgood.
Joey Styles: Things are starting to heat up if The Horde are getting involved.
P Lickin: You are kidding Joey. Your mom was hot last night.
Dr. Feelgood holding a brief case hands Johnny Aggression the brief case. Dr. Feelgood goes behind the curtain as Johnny Aggression walks out to ringside. The fans go wild when Johnny Aggression gets into the ring with Ace Andrews and Insane Dave Payne. Johnny grabs the mic
Johnny Aggression: I was hearing backstage that Ace Andrews wanted a title shot against Dimitri for the United States Championship. Then I heard that Dave Payne was the number one contender for the title. Well I got one better for you. While you might not remember this Ace. Last year before I got injured, I took you on for a money in the bank match for any title besides the World Heavyweight. Problem was a week later. I did some damage to my body which took me out for a year. Now my good friend Dr. Feelgood did some research on this and my brief case is still good. So that means I pass you Ace and Dave for a number one contender shot against Dimitri.
(As Johnny finishes his sentence, "I Could Care Less" by DevilDriver hits, and out comes Dave Payne, the #1 Contender for the United States Championship. Dave comes down the ramp and gets in the ring, mic in hand.)
DAVE PAYNE: Hold on hold on hold on... You two losers don't deserve squat. I won the right to....
Suddenly "Happy Little Boozer" by Korpiklaani hits on the PA and the United States Champion himself marches out from backstage and behind him is Aleks Pushkin, his manager. The pair are booed all the way to the ring. They hop up onto the apron and launch themselves through the ropes, ready for action. Dimitri snatches a microphone from Johnny Aggression and hits himself in the face with it when he raises it to his mouth to speak into.
P. LICKIN: Smooth.
His music stops as he rubs his nose.
DIMITRI: My fellow Americanses...
The crowd boos hysterically while the Russians laugh to themselves.
DIMITRI: I are hatings to tells you gentlemens that American gold are stay around waist of Russian! Now, this are nots meaning to say you cannots havings your shot. You alls are have time someday to fightings for belt, but nots one of yous wills walk away with belt, da? Ands you knowings why? Because I cleverer thans you. I better at wrestlings than you. But more importantlys, I DRUNKER thans you!
The others exchange confused glances. Dimitri now has a vodka bottle in his hand... it isn't clear where that came from. He skilfully removes the cap using the hand he's holding the bottle with and takes a big long drink before holding the bottle down by his side.
JOEY: That's a lot of vodka!
P. LICKIN: Wow! No kiddin'! That's how much I had to drink before I'd do your mother!
DIMITRI: You sees!? Almost emptys! With ability like this, all I are need learn to do is eat like pig for while and have reconstructive facial surgery to makings me ugly as filthy sweaty fat American fucker of mothers!
Before anyone can answer, the vodka bottle is swung violently at "Insane" Dave Payne...
JOEY: WOW!
...only it misses completely and -somehow- comes full circle. Dimitri smashes it over his own head and collapses to the mat.
...
P. LICKIN: Yep... tried that too. Your mom just wouldn't take no for an answer!
JOEY: Shut up about my mother!
P. LICKIN: While I was unconscious she... *sniff* she did stuff to me...
The four men still standing look at Dimitri lying on the mat and take this as their cue to start brawling. Aleks starts by throwing a punch at Ace Andrews, Dave and Johnny dive in and the four begin exchanging brutal punches. As security charge towards the ring, Aleksandr is ejected from it while the others continue fighting amongst themselves. Several security guards leap into the battle and drag the men apart, leaving Dimitri plastered to the canvas.
JOEY STYLES: "What is Nelly doing? He had Nobody right there!"
P LICKIN: "...are you high?"
Owens glares at Nelly before he locks in the Wipeout on Nobody. Nobody screams in pain as the ref looks intently, waiting to see if he submits. When the ref isn't looking, Owens gets his feet on the bottom rope for leverage, giving Nobody no choice but to tap out!)-)-)
(-(-(
Earl Altoona looks promising as always in this matchup, but Aggression showing...well, aggression in the ring, with a hefty defense. The submission monster of BCW works on Aggression early on, trying to force a submission from The Icon. Aggression manages to free himself from the hold, landing a flurry of punches and kicks that keeps Altoona on the mat. Aggression climbs the turnbuckle, looking to deliver the Camera Flash...but Altoona rolls out of the way just in time! Aggression holds himself in pain when Altoona lifts him up, delivering the Head Shot! Altoona goes for the cover: 1...2...Kickout by Aggression, to the delight of the crowd! Altoona is absolutely livid about this, arguing with the ref. Altoona turns around, only to receive a massive Snap Shot from the former Cabo Wabo and US Champion! Aggression covers. The ref counts
".1 ..2 ...3!!!" )-)-)
We cut to the back, where we find The Viking King in his office, arguing with someone...but who?
(-(-(
JOEY STYLES: And this will be a....
Viking: The Viking King doesn't need you and your cronies running around here, stinking up His fed with your nonsense. Do you understand Him?
The camera shifts to Timothy Kahrs, who has a smirk on his face. The Viking King glares at him again, his voice full of rage.
Viking: The Viking King said, do you UNDERSTAND Him?
Kahrs: I'm not sure what's worse...you talking in the third person, or calling yourself the Viking King. You know how hard it is to say that? Go on, say it three times fast...I dare ya.
Viking: The Viking King doesn't need this. You need to realize who you're dealing with, Kahrs. You're a disgrace to this business.
Kahrs laughs loudly.
Kahrs: That's not what your mother said.
The crowd can't help but laugh as The Viking King turns red with anger.
Viking: Don't you DARE insult The Viking King like that! Get out of here, right now!
He points to the door, but Kahrs simply shrugs his shoulders.
Kahrs: Fine, I'll leave. But understand this, King...you bought our contracts with a price far greater than the dollar amount you agreed to. See you around, Vikey Wikey.
Kahrs opens the door, letting himself out as we go back to the ring...)
P. LICKIN: Trainwreck.
JOEY STYLES: I was going to say that this one will be a hard fought bloody brawl.
P. LICKIN: Folks, that's code for “This match involves two drunkards who care only about getting drunk.”
JOEY STYLES: Isn't that what drunks do?
P. LICKIN: Yeah...
Dimitri and Mighty Mick start off with an intense staredown. Mighty Mick rushes in first and begins throwing some wild rights and lefts. Sergeyevich doesn't do any fancy pants reversals or anything. He just throws some wild punches of his own. Let's face it. P. Lickin is right. This match is a wild trainwreck. Both men are slightly inebriated. The wild brawl goes all over the ring. Both men just beating the ever loving hell out of each other.
P. LICKIN: I hope neither one of these two try driving after the show tonight. They might accidentally steal a car and get pwned by a barn.
JOEY STYLES: They'd feel the siding and move along?
P. LICKIN: Fist Bump my Brother!
The wild brawl continues as I fight to see how many more times I can say wild brawl without feeling like I'm over repeating myself. Both men are receiving a beating as this match is incredibly close. Mick and Dimitri have brawled wildly back and forth, with not much wrasslin. Dimitri dumps Mick outside the ring and follows, hitting a double ax-handle drop off the apron. Dimitri picks Mick up and shoots him into the steel stairs. Dimitri staggers over and grabs a bottle off of the floor, then picks it up and tries to drink it. Finding it empty, he turns towards the ramp when out of the crowd comes Donnovan Midas! Donnovan hops the crowd barrier and punches Mick, causing the ref to call for the bell. Dimitri staggers back up the ramp, yelling about "good drinkings." Midas picks Mick up and hits The Crown on the floor outside, and sits up. Midas yells at Mick "Don't Ever interupt me again!" and stands up to walk away, as Mick lays on the outside, down.
Backstage, Dimitri Sergeyevich staggers through the curtain, closely followed by Aleksandr Pushkin.
DIMITRI: Ah! It are times for celebrate!
ALEKS: Uh, are you sures?
DIMITRI: Da! Of course! Ah, vodkas!
Conveniently, a box of the December Wolves' vodka is waiting in the backstage area for Dimitri. He yanks a bottle from the box and tears the cap off, taking a big long drink of the clear liquid within.
DIMITRI: Ahh! So... so... ugh...
Dimitri collapses! Aleks rushes to his side but Dimitri appears to be completely unconscious! Soon, EMTs are on the scene and lift the Russian onto a stretcher, hastily carrying him off for treatment. As he disappears out of sight, Aleks kneels down and picks up the vodka bottle. He's taking a sniff of the liquid as Kyle Bacon rushes onto the scene.
KYLE: Wow! What happened?!
Aleks scowls at the vodka bottle and stands up.
ALEKS: He have been poisoned!
He shoves the bottle into Kyle's hands and storms off. Kyle nervously sniffs the poisoned vodka. Dissatisfied with the smell test, he takes a sip.
KYLE: What the..? This is... water!
Kyle scratches his head in confusion as the camera fades...)-)-)
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
The scene starts backstage to, presumably, The Perfect Alliance locker room but the camera focuses on Stan the Militant Chicken perched atop a chair in front of a sink, holding what appears to be a bottle of the December Wolves' vodka in his foot, which he busily works to drain into the sink.
(-(-(
Do or Die, Malk and B.A.D. Start the match out as they sneak attack Ryan, Andrews and Trippy. DoD and Malk are going to town on Ryan and Andrews as Bobbie Ann is cat fighting with Trippy.
Stan: Brawk! Buck buck buck, brawk! Brawk! ("Fucking the hells, Aleks! This are beings not good!")
Once the bottle has been completely drained, Stan proceeds to fill it up with tap water before sealing it up again and repeating the process with another bottle until his entire stolen stash has been replaced with the non alcoholic, yet highly toxic, tap water. Grabbing the straps of the case in his beak, Stan drags the bottles off, passing by a perplexed Scott DiBiase on his way out.
Scott: It just keeps getting weirder and weirder...
At that point, Scott's cell phone rang.
Scott: This is Scott. Hey! What have you found?
Several seconds go by, during which Scott nods and a smile breaks across his face.
Scott: Good catch, it certainly narrows things down considerably. Cedrone? He should be here any minute. Keep digging and let me know what you find.
Scott terminates the connection and tosses the phone into his bag. Hearing a knock at the door, he turns to see Jonny Cedrone walk in.
Cedrone: I hear you had somethin' you wanted to talk with me about.
Scott: Yeah. The masked man really cheated you out of the World Heavyweight championship at The End, so I've called in some favours to help figure out who he is.
Scott pulls some documents from his bag and holds them so Cedrone can see.
Scott: I think you'll find this interesting.
Cedrone: You really think it's one of these guys?
Scott: It's the best lead we've got right now. Remember back when The Rick took charge of the VWF and we had that Masked Marvel impersonator?
Cedrone: Not really. I was preoccupied with somethin' a bit more close to home at the time.
Scott: Yeah, sorry about that. It was just business.
Cedrone: Don't sweat it. So... who should we check out first?
Voice: Dum dum Dum DUM!
Cedrone: What?
Scott: I almost forgot. I brought someone else in to help us track down the masked man.
A Blue Merle Great Dane, wearing a red detective's hat, walks into frame carrying a magnifying glass, diligently searching for clues. He thoroughly inspects the nearby lockers and benches before scanning Jonny Cedrone from his feet to his face before turning towards Scott. The great dane holds out both his front paws, which Scott low fives then flips his hands over for the great dane to return the gesture. Then the great dane gives Scott a hearty hug before whipping out his magnifying glass and walking out the door. The camera focuses upon Jonny Cedrone, who sports a perplexed expression on his face.
Scott: What's wrong?
Cedrone looks Scott in the eye and then out the door.
Cedrone: I just got a sudden urge for a Scooby Snack.
(The scene goes dark and returns to the ring...)
P. LICKIN: Bobbie Ann and Trippy are rolling round in the ring. It's like that show I was watching on PPV last night.
JOEY STYLES:....
P. LICKIN: It was porn.
JOEYS TYLES: …..
P. LICKIN: I think I forgot to wash my hands.
DoD/Malk and BAD cockily stop the beat down in order to congratulate each other on totally dominating the other team. Well, we all know what that leads to. Ace Andrews catches DoD off guard with a punch to the gut. Trippy slaps BAD and Steve Ryan low blows Malk. Now the tables are turned and the other side is doing the beat down.
JOEY STYLES: The Ref needs to gain some control here.
Speaking of. Guess what happens here. Yep the Ref gains control and gets it down to a member of each team in the ring. Do Or Die starts things off with Ace Andrews. They go back and forth for a while before DoD gains the advantage. Quick tag to Malk and Ace Andrews is being treated like a red headed step child. Malk and DoD double team Ace Andrews for a few seconds till the Ref forces DoD out of the ring.
Trippy is on the apron trying to hype the crowd up and get Andrews back into the match. Ryan is watching calmly. Ace Andrews begins fighting his way out of Malks clutches and lunges towards the corner and a tag. However, Steve Ryan backs up and refuses to tag. Trippy on the other hand gladly tags in.
Trippy enters the ring and Malk gets a sick look on his face. He rushes in to take advantage. Trippy rolls to the side and kicks Malk in the knee. As Trippy prepares to continue the attack, Steve Ryan blind tags himself in. Ryan jumps into the ring and begins going to town on Malks injured knee.
This goes on for a while. Finally Malk rakes the eyes of Ryan. Malk tags in DoD. DoD goes ballistic in the ring, bouncing around like a bouncy ball. Attacking Ryan, knocking Andrews off the apron. Attacking Trippy. DoD has cleared the ring. The rest of his team enter to the ring to celebrate. Steve Ryan is slowly climbing back to his feet in the corner. Ace Andrews jumps back on the apron. Blind Tags himself in and clears the ring. Ace hits a Trumpcard on DoD and goes for the pin. Trippy heads off BAD as she goes to make the break up. The referee pushes Trippy back in her corner, not making the pin. Ace stands up and grabs BAD. BAD hesitates, then kisses Ace! Ace shoves her off, and BAD rolls out of the ring as the ref turns around. Ace picks up DoD and hits a snapmare, then goes to the topes and hits a falling clothesline. Ace covers. The ref counts 1...2... BAD jumps off the turnbuckle to make the save, hitting an elbow drop. Trippy charges the ring and tackles BAD. The ref tries to break them up as Malk is in, hitting a clothesline on Ace. DoD and Malk grab Ace and dump him over the top rope to the outside. Dan Ryan is in, and hits a clothesline on both men, sending DoD over the top rope to the outside. Malk lands on the apron. Dan Ryan hits a hip toss on Malk, bringing him back in the ring. BAD hits an uppercut on Trippy on the outside, then goes to the apron. BAD hits a springboard drop kick on Dan Ryan, staggering the big man back. BAD stands up, ready to charge, but Trippy is on the apron and jumps over the ropes, hitting a springboard bulldog on BAD. BAD rolls outside as DoD hits the ring, hitting a VICIOUS clothesline on Trippy. Trippy collapses in a heap. Ace yells and charges, hitting The Flop on DoD, sending him over the top rope to the outside. Ace yells "I'll take EVERYTHING!" as Malk comes up behind Ace. Malk spins Ace around, kicks him to the midsection and hits The Blackout! Malk picks Ace up and dumps him over the top rope to the outside, smirking. He turns around, where Dan Ryan is there! Dan kicks Malk to the midsection and hits the Humility Bomb! Dan Ryan covers. The ref counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" Dan Ryan stands up as the crowd cheers, as he stands in the ring, glaring out at them.)-)-)
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
JOEY STYLES: Here it is. The in-ring debut of Donnovan Midas.
P. LICKIN: I'm hungry.
JOEY STYLES: You do know this is a big deal right? Midas is a future star here in the VWF.
P. LICKIN: I'd like some Ice Cream. How about you Joey, would you like some Ice Cream?
JOEY STYLES: No. P, get your mind on the match. Donnovan Midas facing off with Dave Payne is a huge match for both men. Donnovan Midas can make a major impact here tonight... or Dave Payne can send a message to everybody that he's a man to be feared.
P. LICKIN: I'm thinking Chunky Munky.
JOEY STYLES: Will you stop?
P. LICKIN: You Scream, I Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream!
Inside the ring, Donnovan Midas and “Insane” Dave Payne are facing off. The fans are giving Midas a positive reaction. Payne isn't taking kindly to this development. Payne rushes in and begins attacking Midas. Midas is taken aback by the violence and suddenness of Paynes attack.
Payne is leaving nothing to chance this go around. He's on a mission and that mission is to deliver a message to the rest of the VWF. Midas is having a few moments of uncertainty before slowly coming back. Countering Paynes wild offense with well timed blocks and counters. This eventually leads to a HUGE Belly to Belly Suplex.
Midas takes over the match for a short while. Hitting a suplex here, followed by an arm drag or two. Payne is getting frustrated. That's when Payne counters Midas with a simple bash of the old noggin to the ring post. Midas is dazed and confused. Paynes setting him up for a DDT. Midas reverses out and hits a “Golden Touch” Fishermans Suplex. Midas covers. The ref counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" Midas shakes his head gets his hand raised, and the camera pans in on him, saying "Don't ever interrupt me again, Mick!"
)-)-)
Cutting away from the action, the scene shows The Viking King going through paperwork while sitting in a big leather chair behind his desk. The door to his office opens to reveal the Ryan brothers.
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
The show returns to see Crimson Lightening and Cisco Kid already in the ring. "Hero" by Skillet hits, and the Eurocontinental Champion, Lee Ryan comes out with Steve Ryan, the Euro Belt around his waist. He pats it and points to the ring as Crimson and Cicso talk. The Elite Playaz roll in the ring as the ref takes the belt and calls for the bell. Lee and Cisco start out, and lock up. The begin to wrestle back and forth, countering hold for hold until Lee gets the upper hand. Lee pounds on Cisco for a bit, tagging in Steve to allow the big man to get his licks in. Steve pounds on Cisco for a little hit as Crimson continues to attempt to get the hot tag. Steve picks up Cisco for a powerbomb, but Cisco is able to hit a hurcanarana, sending Steve head first to the turnbuckle post. Both men are down as the crowd cheers on...
Viking: Whatever it is you want to complain about now Ryan, HE doesn’t have to time to hear it; HE has a lot of work to do.
Ignoring the owner’s attempt to get rid of them, Lee and Steve enter the office and take a seat in the chairs opposite him. Casually taking his seat, Lee leans back and rests his feet up on the corner of Viking King’s desk, much to his boss’s discontent.
Lee Ryan: Relax Ponytail; for once I’m here to actually help you.
Looking away from the sheets of paper confused, The Viking King turns his attention to the brothers.
Viking: You two? Help HIM? Don’t make HIM laugh!
Steve Ryan: Now that’s just rude.
Lee and Steve begin to mockingly converse.
Lee Ryan: You know bro I don’t think he believes us.
Steve Ryan: Well he has never really like us…you more so than me.
Lee Ryan: You think it has something to do with the healthiness and vibrancy of my hair?
Steve Ryan: That’s an interesting theory.
As the two continue, the VWF owner releases a frustrating sigh before throwing the paperwork down onto the desk.
Viking: Ok if it will shut you both up, how are you both going to help HIM?
Lee Ryan: By dealing with the Masked Man.
Peeking his curiosity, the Viking King leans forward resting his elbows on the desk.
Viking: And why do you think HE needs your help with that?
Steve Ryan: Because week after week he comes out of nowhere and beats someone down. He attacks a VWF wrestler with either his fists or an object.
Viking: You think this is important to HIM why?
Lee Ryan: Well let me put it in a language that you understand, money. If this guy continues, unchecked, he’ll eventually take someone out. Meaning you’ll have someone on the injured list, you’ll lose money from hospital bills and not to mention from the reduced ticket sales because fans won’t be able to see their favourite VWF superstar.
The Viking King leans back in his big leather chair, seemingly contemplating the Ryan’s case.
Viking: And if HE agrees to let you investigate this, what about the two of you? HE knows you too well to think that you’d help HIM out of the kindness of your hearts.
The brothers look at each other before lifting themselves out of their chairs and returning to full height.
Lee Ryan: Well let’s just say you’d owe us one.
Tension builds as there is a brief and uneasy pause.
Viking: Very well Ryan, HE will give you some leeway on this matter. Now get out of HIS office!
Lee and Steve exit the room once again leaving the VWF owner to himself. Outside the room the brothers turn and talk to each other.
Steve Ryan: Well that was easier than we thought it would be.
Lee Ryan: That doesn’t matter. What matters is finding this Masked Man.
The brothers head off down the corridor as The VWF goes to commercial...)
EUROCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
JOEY STYLES: I smell a hot tag...
P. LICKIN: I smell a hot fa...
JOEY STYLES: P!
P. LICKIN: I was going to say fan.
JOEY STYLES: ....
P. LICKIN: What?
Cisco is able to get the tag to Crimson, who comes in. Steve shakes his head and is up, as Crimson attacks with a series of rights. Steve is backed into his corner, and Lee tags himself in. Crimson kicks Steve to the midsection and hits The Crimson Cutter. Crimson goes for a cover, but Lee hits a knee lift, taking Crimson off his feet. Lee puts the boots to Crimson as Cisco pulls himself up on the outside. Lee picks up Crimson and shoots him into the corner. Cisco tags himself back in and climbs the turnbuckle. Crimson charges out of the corner, going for a clothesline, but Lee ducks. Steve hits a bicycle kick on Crimson as Cisco jumps off at Lee. Lee side steps the attack and catches Cisco with the Double Impact! Lee covers. The ref counts
".1 ..2 ...3!!!" )-)-)
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
(-(-(
The camera returns to Ian Credible, standing in the ring with a mic in hand...
IAN CREDIBLE: Are... you.... ready...
DANNY ORCHARD: Mr. Credible... I'm ready.
IAN CREDIBLE: Danny you pretentious buffoon! AGAIN you've screwed this up! WHo said you could interrupt me!
DANNY ORCHARD: I thought you were asking me a question Mr. Credible. I wasn't thinking...
IAN CREDIBLE: That's right Danny, you didn't think! Just like Mr. Fantastic isn't thinking about me and my little briefcase here. I can say that I'm thinking about when I'm going to cash in my World Title shot. Maybe at the Royal Rumble? Maybe at Bloodlust? Maybe tonight? Maybe right now? I'm waiting for you Mr. Fantastic! You may be preoccupied with Cedrone, but I'm here to remind you...
"Epic" starts to play, fire explodes from the sides of the ramp and the entrance is bathed in red light. Jekyl runs to the top of the ramp, downs a can of Hardcore Soda then rolls down the ramp. Jekyl rolls in the ring and immediately attacks Ian immediately. Yes, immediately. Ian screams and grabs Danny by the arm, dragging him in between the two. The bell rings as Jekyl unleashes some lefts and rights on Danny, then dumps him over the top rope. Jekyl turns around as Ian grabs him from behind, schoolboying him. The ref counts as Ian grabs a fistfull of tights... ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" Ian immediately rolls out of the ring as Jekyl sits up, stunned. Ian chuckles to himself, yelling "It can happen anytime! Watch it Fantastic... WATCH IT")-)-)
We cut to the arena where Circus-like music plays throughout the arena. Out steps a man dressed in ridiculous ring-master gear and a maniacal twinkle is noticeable in his eye. He marches down to the ring to a mixed reaction. He slides into the ring and is handed a microphone before allowing the crowd to calm down.
(The VWF goes to commercial...)
(The VWF returns from commercial...)
**--After a commercial break, the camera picks up in the back as the fans erupt in happiness to see Jonny Cedrone on the video screen. He's dressed in his ring gear, ready for his Main Event match against Dandelion, as he's sitting on his leather couch holding a book of matches and a glass container of...something. There's a knock on the door.--**
(-(-(
Scott DiBiase and Alexia stand face-to-face in the center of the ring, their respective championship belts slung over their shoulders. The referee asks for the title belts but both Scott and Alexia ignore him and tell him they're not going to have that kind of match. Throwing his hands in the air in frustration, the ref grabs at the strap of the Britannia Heavyweight championship belt and tugs at it but Scott simply releases his grip and the ref falls back onto his ass. Alexia dares him to try it with her, but he thinks better of it and signals for the bell. Scott offers his hand to Alexia, who takes it in hers and, with a smile they both shout "One, two, three, four! I declare a thumb war!" and they're off!
P. Lickin: “Hey who the hell is this guy? Who does he think he is marching down here from his travelling band of freaks, whores and strong-men? That is why I hate the circus; it’s like a group of gypsies never settling down, always being in a new town every week and always full of oddities.”
Joey Styles: “I could make some points about that statement but this guy is about to speak.”
Ornery Hillman: “For those who do not know and for those that just love my name; I am Ornery Hillman the greatest wrestling promoter in wrestling and the proprietor of the One Ring Circus. I am here tonight to unveil to you your newest acquisition to the VWF. A man I have recently bought into the One Ringed Circus and a man with whom I’m sure will make waves within this company soon enough. Allow me to give to you a former 3 time SCW Global Champion, an Extreme Tournament Icon, a Global Phenomenon and a Hall of Fame wherever you go. I give to you tonight; M.D.K.!”
The lights all turn green and focus on the ramp-way as the opening to Sabotage begins. On the titantron it reads
Three Simple Letters
...
One Violent Man
....
Murder
(Scenes of war crimes are shown across the titantron)
Death
(Famine in Africa, mass graves can be seen)
Kill
(Executions are shown across the screen)
As the main body of the song hits, M.D.K. explodes in a shower of pyrotechnics and shouts out to the crowd.
Joey Styles: “And finally we see the man himself here in the VWF.”
P Lickin: “Where have you heard of him?”
Joey Styles: “This is the man who came out at the APW event Survive and Conquer as an SCW superstar, eliminated half of the SCW entrants and then revealed himself to be part of the VWF!”
P Lickin: “Talk about making the right choice.”
He sports a pair a jeans and a VWF T-shirt and a big grin across his face as he gets into the ring to shake hands with Ornery and to take the microphone off of him.
M.D.K.: “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, whites… and the rest. It is an honour to be herein the VWF!”
The crowd mark out appropriately.
M.D.K.: “Let me say that it is all down to that man down there Ornery Hillman that I am standing before you tonight. He has taken control of my contract and has leased it to the Viking King who paid a pretty penny to have my services. Now, as you may have seen a couple of weeks ago at APW’s Survive and Conquer I went into a forty man battle royal after a six month hiatus from wrestling and was representing the SCW.”
Boos for the mention of the other company.
M.D.K.: “Now, now. There is no shame in being number two to a company such as this.”
Another pop.
M.D.K.: “I went out there with one aim and that was to make an impact. I entered that ring about halfway through and within a couple of heartbeats I had taken out my man down there Mr Hillman as part of an orchestrated plot and then managed to take out mortal after mortal until I was taken out just before the final four but in that time I managed to take out SCW alumni and dent their pride enough to reveal my true colours and my true calling. My true calling is the V.W.F.”
The crowd give off a massive pop this time. With a knowing smile of crowd control he continues.
M.D.K.: “And so I am here and ready for business. I can see people in need of being taken down a peg or two, I hear of people who need to learn the value of respect, I can feel you fans have a yearning of a man they can look up to, I can smell Aquila and I can taste gold.”
He licks his lips and his look goes to that of pure concentration.
M.D.K.: “Where shall I begin my quest for glory? What will my first move be? Who will be the first person to be branded Inferior? Time will tell because the Superior One is on the prowl and you… are… INFERIOR!”
Sabotage hits the speakers again and the crowd pop for M.D.K. as he holds his arms out wide in defiance. He then is aided out of the ring by Ornery and makes his way back up the ramp.
Cedrone: "Come in."
**--The door opens up and in walks the new VWF interviewer, Sara McKenzie. She shuts the door behind her as Cedrone still doesn't know who the "intruder" is until she speaks with concern in her voice.--**
Sara McKenzie: "Jonny?"
**--Cedrone looks up at Sara and quickly stands up.--**
Cedrone: "Hey Sara, how are you? What's up? I thought we already had our interview."
Sara: "We did. I just saw that you were genuinely disturbed that you were facing Dandelion tonight so I wanted to check in on you to see how you're doing."
Cedrone: "Thanks Sara for your concern but I'm perfectly fine."
Sara: "So what is your mindset going to be, going into this match?"
Cedrone: "Simple. I'm gonna go in there, have the match and head back to the Hotel for a celebration. You're more than welcome to come if you'd like."
Sara: "Wow. Your attitude and mindset has definitely changed since our interview Jon."
Cedrone: "Well, with this sure FIRE plan that I've got, my fear of dolls can be thrown out the window."
Sara: "What do you mean?"
**--Cedrone shows Sara what he's got in his hands. A book of matches and a glass jar.--**
Sara: "What's in the jar?"
Cedrone: "Termites."
Sara: "Termites?! Jon!"
Cedrone: "I'm gonna see just how much wood a woodchuck can chuck...well at least see how much wood a termite can eat, then see how fast a doll will go up in flames. There's more than one way to skin a cat!"
**--Sara grins at Cedrone as Cedrone returns the favor--**
Cedrone: "What?"
Sara: "I've got a surprise for you."
Cedrone: "Should I close my eyes and hold out my hands or just cut to the chase and take off my pants?"
Sara: "Just sit right there."
**--Sara goes to the door, exits the room and comes back in with her hands behind her back--**
Cedrone: "Whatcha doin'?"
Sara: "I was thinkin' about your fear of the doll and I automatically thought about my friend at Lincoln Park Zoo so I asked for a favor. She hurried up and got down here and brought what I asked for."
Cedrone: "What is it?"
**--Sara brought what she had behind her back around to her front and presents to Cedrone...a beaver!--**
Sara: "Wanna pet my friend's beaver?"
Cedrone: "SURE!"
Sara: "All you gotta do is just throw this beaver into the ring and it’ll eat Dandelion and turn it into sawdust.”
Cedrone: ”I wonder if I’m the only one that just found the thought of that kinda hot.”
Sara: ”What?”
Cedrone: ”I mean you talkin’ about doll eating beavers. Kinda hot.”
**--Cedrone grins at Sara as she giggles a little as they both pet the beaver. Crucifiction cuts back to the ring.--**
Intercontinental and Britannia Heavyweight Championships
JOEY STYLES: What the Hell?
P. LICKIN: She's got him on the ropes, Joey! Do you think she'll come over here when she's done?
The ref is at a loss as to what to do, with no legal grounds to break the two up, helpless to do anything but watch as the two champions struggle to pin each other's thumb. Alexia gains the advantage, forcing Scott backwards until he's against the ropes, which he uses for leverage as he struggles back. The referee, relieved that he finally has an excuse to act, kicks Scott's hand away from the ropes but, unbeknownst to the competitors in the ring, Basement Cat peeks his head out from under the ring and starts to yodel. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning crashes from the rafters and narrowly misses Basement Cat, who shuts the fuck up.
JOEY STYLES: OH MY GOD!
All eyes turn towards the rafters where the bolts of lightning continue to rain down towards Basement Cat, catching a few brief glimpses of Ceiling Cat while the referee and bolts the ring and has a few quick words with the ring announcer, gesturing towards Scott and Alexia before calling for the bell and rushing to the back.
RING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has informed me that he is calling the match and has declared both participants the winner. Therefore still Britannia Heavyweight champion: Scott DiBiase and still Intercontinental champion: Alexia!
P. LICKIN: That match was P. Lickin good! Trust me, I should know.
DiBiase picks up his belts on the outside, while Alexia stands in the ring on the turnbuckle raising her hands in victory. Suddenly, M.D.K. slides into the ring behind her, and grabs her from behind. He hits a HUGE German Suplex on Alexia. M.D.K. shouts "YOU are inferior!" and kicks her in the side. M.D.K. bails out of the ring as DiBiase slides back in, and backs back up the ramp as DiBiase checks on Alexia...)-)-)
(The Cameras return to the back, showing The Viking King sitting in his his office. He looks up at the camera, and begins to speak...)
(-(-(
The camera returns to the ring, where Dandelion is standing. "Cadillac Pussy" By Kid Rock hits, and out comes Jonny Cedrone to a standing ovation.
VIKING: Ladies and gentlemen. As The VWF moves into the new year, we are beginning the great journey that we all have taken here year after year for over a decade. If you are new to our product, allow The Viking King to explain how the Royal Rumble works. This year, 30 men and women will enter the ring, one at a time. As they enter the ring, they will only be able to be eliminated from the match when they have gone over the top rope of the ring, and both feet hit the ground on the outside. When the match has proceeded to where there only 4 wrestlers left legally, the match then becomes a fatal four way match, where pinfalls only count. Additionally, as with every year, the 3 wrestlers who make it to the end, but do not win are awarded a "favor" from The VWF for their longevity in the match. At a later date, we will have a random drawing to determine the entrant order, but, the following wrestlers are currently entered into the Royal Rumble: Ace Andrews, Alexia, "All That" Lee Ryan, Bailey, Bobbie Ann Dallas, Crimson Lightening, "The Ego Buster" Dan Ryan, Dimitri Sergeyevich,
Donnovan “The King” Midas, Do or Die, Dreads, Dr. Feelgood, Dr. Jekyl, Danny Orchard, "Insane" Dave Payne, Johnny Aggression, Larry The Bartender,
Malk, Malik Logan, M.D.K., Mighty Mick, Nelly Ninja, Phoenix, Seth Owens, Scott DiBiase, Tazz, Thomas Halloway, Wally Walters, Yuna, Mystery Opponent. Good luck to all involved.
Jonny Cedrone Vs. Dandelion
JOEY STYLES: Jonny Cedrone looks confident adn ready to fight, doesn't he P?
P. LICKIN: No way he beats this doll. Or Fantastic. Or his cock.
JOEY STYLES: P!
P. LICKIN: What? He won't beat his pet cock. The man loves animals.
The camera returns to the ring, where Cedrone and Dandelion have locked up. Cedrone gets a headlock. Dandelion shoves him off into the ropes. Cedrone hits a shoulder block, taking her down. Cedrone goes back to the ropes, jumping over Dandelion. Dandelion kips up and goes for a spinning heel kick, but Cedrone ducks. Cedrone goes for a clothesline, but Dandelion ducks as well. Dandelion goes to the ropes and jumps off for a flying cross-body, but Cedrone catches her and hits a powerslam. Cedrone covers. 1..2.. kickout.
JOEY STYLES: Cedrone looking good in there.
P. LICKIN: You ARE sweet on him, aren't you?
The match continues on with Cedrone in control, but every time he's able to get a pinfall on Dandelion, she's able to kick out. Finally, as the match nears a close, Cedrone shoots Dandelion to the corner, and puts her on top of the turnbuckle. Cedrone climbs up with her, going for a superplex, but Dandelion fights it off. Dandelion whips around, attempting a tornado DDT ,but Cedrone hooks his legs around the ropes, blocking it. Cedrone grabs Dandelion's legs, lifts her up a bit higher and comes off, hitting a powerbomb off the top turnbuckle! Cedrone covers. The ref counts ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" Cedrone has his hand raised, when he looks up at the VikingTron. On the screen, The Maked Man and Mr. Fantastic are seen standing outside Cedrone's lockerroom. Cedrone sees them go inside, and he rolls out of the ring and takes off for the back. Dandelion slowly stands up, suddenly the lights go out.
)-)-)
JOEY STYLES: The lights have gone out here, what's going on here?
The lights come on a few minutes later and standing in the ring behind Dandelion, is none other then a former puppetmaster of hers Crimson Lord.
JOEY STYLES: That's Crimson Lord P.
P. LICKIN: Look at the size of him I heard stories of him dominating the wrestling world but once you see him in person wow.
Dandelion turns around and stumbles into the corner as Crimson stares at her with his cold dark blue eyes. He reaches into his trench coat and pulls out a microphone. In his other hand looks to be a bucket, as he pulls the mic out from his coat he sets the bucket down on the mat next to him. He looks out into the fans emotionless, some that have known this man boo him. He then returns his look once more to her. He raises the mic to his mouth and in a very cold sadistic voice begins to speak.
Crimson Lord: So, here you are trying to make sense of life. Trying to make a name for yourself. Guess what little girl he gets in her face YOU FAILED! he gets out of her face I sat back at my mansion for the months that past when my adoring wife took it upon herself to find the need to cut you loose.
The fans give off enough reaction that it stops Crimson's speech for a moment. He looks at the fans then looks slightly toward her.
Crimson Lord: Its ironic all these cattle out here cheering you. Is that what I trained you to do entertain CATTLE!
That was enough to get the remaining fans who were uncertain of him to boo him. Dandelion on the other hand is petrified.
Crimson Lord: I took you under my wing I expected you to tear the wrestling world down to its knees, have you done that? once more gets in her face NO! he pulls away from her once more I trained you to be a cold blooded KILLER! Instead you walk around this company like your some common wrestler, just another wrestler you have not made a name for yourself in fact you have become a mere mid card attraction. Look at you losing matches to people you should not of lost too. I never accepted her setting you free. What do you know I was right, its funny when women are pregnant they go through these mood swings. I guess you caught Gaze at a sympathy mood. My only guess is she felt sorry for you being my servant.
Dandelion quickly shook her head in disbelief.
Crimson Lord: Come now little girl do you honestly believe my wife would of let you go so easily. Look what you have become since you left me? NOTHING no gold no headlining name nothing! You can't even beat that bitch Alexia!
That sparked a switch in Dandelion and she did not like that comment one bit. He turned to her fully.
Crimson Lord: What you don't like what i said? Face it little girl Alexia is just like every other woman in this business shake your ass shake your tits and suck whatever dick you can to get on top of the ladder!
That spark a lot of Dandelion chants there more specifically from the female fans.
Crimson Lord: What child you look like you want to do something? I use to eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast! You know who I am you pile of deadwood! I have destroyed lives in this business, ended careers, put people in comas you think you have any chance in hell of stepping up and facing me. Why cause these pukes out here want you to.
He slowly lowered the mic almost daring her to try something it seemed part of her just wanted to knock him on his ass but the other part was afraid.
Crimson Lord: Look at you, you can't even make up your mind anymore. Your like a lost sheep. Why I subjected to having you grace my brilliance is beyond me. I never liked you in fact I LOATHED YOU!
Dandelion slowly lowered her head, just verbally being bashed by a man she considered a mentor.
Crimson Lord: You disgust me, and whether you chose to believe it or not Gaze feels the same way.
Dandelion slowly raises her head and widens her eyes in yet more disbelief.
Crimson Lord: She played you like a fine fiddle, and if you don't believe me have a look at the video screen.
November 11, 2009
The Rave
The doll slowly stood up and looked down at her slowly cracking a smile toward her. Seemed to make Gaze happier, she returned the smile. Dandy turned around and started to walk toward the door but stopped abruptly when Gaze said one more thing to her.
Lady Gaze - Jestal, needs to be called and you need to arrange a meeting with him. He is what is clouding your judgment now dear you must deal with him now before you endure this high profile match.
Dandy slowly turned her head toward Gaze once more. She knew she was right she had put off the confrontation far to long it was time to finally come face to face with the demented clown that has been like a brother to her at times and like a bitter enemy to her. She knew if she was ever going to enter this match with a clear mind. Dealing with more than one demon will not help her situation better to deal with one then two. Dandy sighed for a moment then slowly nodded her head and left the penthouse.
A few moments later, a door opened behind Gaze, and two figures stepped out. Gaze looked over her shoulder from her couch.
Lady Gaze - She’ll meet you.
A sinister smile came across the face of the man she had been avoiding for weeks now.
Jestal - Soon Dandelion version two will be no more, and the world will see the true Dandelion the Dandy of old, my buddy returns to me and no wooden heart is required.
A sinister cackle came from the clown as Gaze returned her look to the door, in more of a devious mood.
JOEY STYLES: Look at Dandelion she is in shock, even Gaze had her own agenda against her.
P. LICKIN: Poor girl.
Crimson Lord: You see, you never were anything to either of us just something to amuse us for the time being.
The doll completely broken down now heart broken, dignity ripped from her and whatever else Crimson has torn from her by the things he has said already.
Crimson Lord: Unfortunately for you my piece of deadwood our amusement has ended.
JOEY STYLES: What does he mean by that?
P. LICKIN: What is in that bucket is what i would like to know.
Crimson Lord: It seems your so called puppetmaster left this business for a while so you want your answer where your heart is?
Dandelion slowly raised her head knowing how this conversation was going she could only put two and two together.
Crimson Lord: Now were starting to understand.
Crimson reaches into the bucket and pulls out her heart Dandelion gasps in horror.
Crimson Lord: I have sat by and watch you make a mockery of my teachings, I have seen you fail yet again in The Experts. I think its time for you to be put out of your misery all together!
Dandelion is now on her knees begging Crimson now, he looks to the fans then smirks at her.
JOEY STYLES: Given my overall feeling on this Crimson Lord I get the feeling that that vision she had earlier in the week is coming true.
Crimson Lord: No...no...no my little piece of deadwood things will be different. I am not your puppetmaster again in fact I am sick and tired of you so I am going to do what's best for you and put you out of your misery.
Crimson drops the heart in the bucket and reaches into the bucket and pulls out lighter fluid. The dolls desperate is begging for him to stop. He continues to empty the bottle of lighter fluid in the bucket. Dandelion has no choice and lunges toward him. Crimson quickly reacts and grabs her by the throat and lifts her in the air squishing the remains of the bottle into the bucket. He reaches into his trench coat once more and pulls out a lighter.
He lights it and puts it in front of her eye, her eyes watch the lighter for a moment before he shoves her into the turnbuckle. He drops the lighter into the bucket and a huge ball of fire explodes from the bucket. Dandelion finally breaks her silence and screams loudly her body starts to twitch and her eyes slowly turn to a comatose state and all the sudden she falls face first lifeless to the mat. Crimson just smiles as the puppet lay lifeless on the mat.
JOEY STYLES: Do you believe what your seeing I think Crimson Lord has officially killed Dandelion!
P. LICKIN: How could this happen I enjoyed watching that little ass move in the ring!
Crimson Lord: So ends the saga of The Puppet Mistress Dandelion!
He drops the mic as Genghis Tron Board Up the House plays.