December 16th, 2001
Live From The VWF Arena in Chicago, IL.,
Tonight, in that very ring...
( The pyros shoot out from the turn posts and at the top of the ramp and the line of fire runs down the aisle. Then the lights fade to black then they explode in a giant flash of blue as the lights turn on and the camera zooms to The Viking KingMaxine Baibe and Dan Foxx. )
DAN FOXX: Welcome folks, to the latest VWF excursion on Pay-Per-View, UNIFICATION, our End of the Year Blow-out!! We are Live from The VWF Arena and we have PRYO, PYRO and more PYRO! Oh, and I'm here with...
MAXINE BAIBE: Every man's dream come true, Moi, The "Queen Of Xtreme". After a short delay, we are here in Chicago, the home of not only the losing Cubs, but the Windy City.
VIKING KING: And more importantly, home of the VWF. But enough with pleasantres, Let's get to the ring for our 1st match!!!
DAN FOXX: That's right. Three Up-and Comers Halo, Shadow and Jeff Fowl in a Triple Threat match!! And as a added bonous, As Commissioner, I've added that the winner will get a chance to wrestle for contendership in 2 weeks for the new United National championship that will be crown tonight. So with that said, lets get to the ring ...
VIKING KING: I already said let's get to the ring ..
DAN FOXX: quiet you ..
Match Stip: Triple Threat Match,
( Winner receives a chance to wrestle on Warzone in a No. #1 Contenders match for the NEW United National title )
(-(-( Halo's music starts and the new comer walks out onto the ramp to moderate applause. He waves to the crowd as he trots down to the ring and hops up onto the ring apron. Halo ascends the top turnbuckle and backflips into the ring as his music fades. Next, "Dead Soul" plays over the p.a. and Shadow walks out onto the stage. The reaction to his return to the VWF is mixed, but he seems intent on taking it in stride and jogs down to the ring with a look of determination. Finally, "In The End" plays over the p.a. and Jeff Fowl walks out, bad mouthing the fans and flipping off his opponents in the ring. The crowd immediately reacts with boos as he walks down to the ring. He circles from the outside a bit, then finally slides under the bottom rope. Halo and Shadow look at eachother, then rush him and put the boots to Fowl before he can reach his feet. The ref calls for the bell. )-)-) VIKING KING: Got that right. Except for maybe Gangrel, the way he's dressed. (-(-( Halo runs to the corner, walking stright up the turnbuckles and doing a back flip, landing on top of the "Predator". Shadow brings him to his feet and slugs away at his face. Halo gets down on his hands and knees behind him, and Shadow pushes him over backwards. Halo rolls him up as he falls over him and attempts the pin. ".1 .." kickout. As Halo gets up, Shadow shoves him aside and grabs Jeff by the hair as he gets up. He rams his head into the turnbuckles, then rakes his eyes down the length of the ropes to the next turnbuckle, where he pounds his head a few more times. But Halo charges into the corner, leaping high into the air and trapping both men in the corner with a body press. Jeff melts in the corner while Shadow stumbles out of it. Halo kicks Shadow in the stomach a few times, then hits a reverse neck breaker on Shadow. As he gets up again, he notices Jeff Fowl shaking the cobwebs out and rubbing his eyes as he gets up. He grabs him by a wrist and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle, then charges after him. But Jeff catches himself in the corner and jumps up. Halo runs under him, getting trapped in the corner. As Jeff comes down, he manages to grab Halo's head and hit a falling reverse DDT! )-)-) DAN FOXX: Yeah, but he better watch out behind... (-(-( Shadow sneaks up behind Jeff Fowl and spins him around for a head butt that floors him. Jeff rolls out of the ring, and Shadow turns his attention to Halo by kicking him as he tries to get up. He rolls Halo into a corner by kicking him, then backs up and charges at Halo, who is sitting in the corner, and dropkicks him in the chest in the corner! Halo gasps and falls out of the ring. Shadow follows, but when he hits the arena floor, he gets nailed with a closeline by Jeff Fowl. Jeff picks him back up and rams his face against the ring apron, then hauls him over to the steel steps and rams his face against those too. He turns back to Halo and gets him up. Halo punches Jeff in the face, but Jeff regains control by kicking Halo in the gut, then whips him toward the ring post. But Halo reverses it, and Jeff goes face first into the ring post instead. Halo charges him for a running elbow, but Jeff ducks at the last second, and the sound of Halo's elbow hitting the ring post echoes throughout the arena, making the crowd gasp. Halo shouts in pain, but still manages to kick Jeff Fowl while he is still down. Halo rolls back into the ring to break up the count, and gets up, holding his arm. As the ref checks on him, Shadow picks up a chair and approaches Jeff Fowl. He whacks him over the back with it once, then stands him up against the ring post. Shadow backs up several steps, then charges Jeff with the chair held in front of him. Jeff sidesteps him and rams him head first into the chair and the ring post. Shadow stumbles backwards, and Jeff takes advantage by grabbing the time keepers bell and knocking him off his feet with a clean shot to the forehead that busts him open. He rolls Shadow back into the ring, but Halo is waiting and runs all the way across and baseball slides into Jeff's face, sending him crashing into the Teletubbie Announcer's Table?!?! )-)-) MAXINE BAIBE: My question is where they hell did they come from what why are they here? Ah who cares, let them destroy them .. DAN FOXX: I don't know. I didn't approve it. And I KNOW JD didn't. (-(-( Halo covers Shadow for the pin. ".1..2 .." KICKOUT! Outside the ring, Viking King rips off his headset and goes over to the two Teletubbies announcing the match in their weird unintelligable language and lays into them both with hard lefts and rights, turning them into Tele-Jelly. He suplexes them both at the same time through their own table, then returns to sit beside Dan Foxx as the crowd applaudes. Jeff Fowl shakes his head as he gets up, but even he has to clap a little. In the ring, Halo body slams Shadow, then climbs up to the top rope and hits a top rope face buster on Shadow! He covers for the pin. ".1 ..2 ." Jeff Fowl pulls Halo out of the ring and rakes his eyes, then hits him with a low blow. He searches about for a weapon, then picks up one of the dead Teletubbies and hits Halo with it a few times until the stuffing starts to come out of it. Jeff puts a few more boots to Halo, then climbs up onto the announcer's table and hits a leg drop from the table! Jeff gets up and rolls back into the ring, but he's met by Shadow, who is finally back on his feet. Shadow hits him in the face, spins him around, and rams a shoulder into his back. he pushes Jeff Fowl into a corner, facing it, and continues to ram his shoulder into his back until the ref reaches the count of five and forces a break. Jeff stumbles out of the corner holding his back and walks right into a belly to belly suplex! He gets up and hauls Jeff Fowl to his feet, and applies an arm wringer. Then, while holding onto the arm, he climbs the turnbuckles, and jumps off for a falling headbutt to Jeff Fowl. But his busted open head is in no shape to deliver such a move, and both men go down. Jeff slowly gets up as Halo enters the ring. Halo charges Jeff, but Jeff hits a Samoan Drop ... NO! Halo manages to adjust huimself and apply a cruifix pin on Jeff as Shadow crables up Jeff also. They're BOTH pinning Fowl!!! The ref makes the count. ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" The ref calls for the bell as both Halo and Shadow celebrate their 1st VWF victory. But Whose victory is it? The ref discusses with Dan Foxx and then takes Halo and Shadow to the side. Both are staring each other down. The announcer declares since both Halo and Shadow hasd a pin on Jeff Fowl .... THEY'RE BBOTH WINNERS!! The Ref has awarded the match to BOTH halo AND Shadow. )-)-)
DAN FOXX: Well, Jeff Fowl won't be making too many friends that way King.
MAXINE BAIBE: WOW! What reflexes by the "Predator" Jeff Fowl!
VIKING KING: HEY! Why do THEY get an announcer's table?
DAN FOXX: That was an amazing first match for all three of the new comers Viking!
VIKING KING: Well, Shadow isn't a newbie Dan, he's a returnee. But even he looked better than he last did! But right now, we got Kevin Kelly standing by with our 1st interview of the night, Smart A$$ ....
MAXINE BAIBE: Oh great!! Just what I need right now ... here comes my lunch.
(-(-( We see Smart A$$ in his lockerroom, sitting down preparing for his match with the United States Belthanging over his shoulder. The fans cheer when they see him. Kevin Kelly comes walking in and this crazy interview starts )-)-)
KEVIN KELLY: Smart A$$! You're just about to make history if you can become first ever United National Champion. What are your thoughts going into this historic match...?
(-(-( Smart A$$ looks at Kevin Kelly, he looks at the United States Belt hanging over his shoulder. He standsup and begin's to speak )-)-)
SMART A$$: It's very simple. I'm gonna win.
KEVIN KELLY: Yah but...
SMART A$$: What Kevin? I've talked about this before. I'm gonna win because of one simple reason.While Iman Sane was busy chasing after Curt Evans, I was defending my U.S Title. While Mason was busy being the servent girl of the New Revolution, I was defending my U.S Title. And While Dave Foley as busy having a lovers quarrel with Angel Primavera. I was defending my U.S title. So I'm not gonna waste mytime talking about a bunch of losers who don't even deserve the drink the sweat I have put into the U.S. Title. Instead I think I want to talk about the many special ladies of my life... .
(-(-( Smart A$$ takes out a piece of paper while Kevin Kelly looks on perplexed. )-)-)
SMART A$$: There are many Ultra Fine ladies out there. Hot Foxes like Wonder Woman, Foxy Brown, LaraCroft, Super Girl, Ginger, Cat Woman, Charlies Angels, Heather Graham, Carmen Electra, Charlies Angels, Heather Lockleare, Princes Leia, Lita, Pamela Anderson, Jennifer Lopez, Ivory, Jenny Mcarthy, Denise Richards, Jaime Presly and Marilyne Manroe to name a few. But you, Maxine, are by far the foxxiest. Notso much in looks persay, because all though you are major do able, your no Cat Woman. But by the sheer Sexual Radiancy that you emit. See the problem with being The Smart One is that my mojo is so potent, I'm just too much for the ladies that lust after me. They're like cruise missles, exploding on impact.But you Maxine, I can tell you may be able of exhausting this love powered Sex Machine. So I ask you to stop waisting your time with that yahoo Curt Evans, and step up to the big leauges. And If what I've said hasn't convinced you, then listen to this:
You're a Great piece of A$$
I need some Love Vaccine
I want to munch on your tasty Grass"
(-(-( the scene split screens to Maxine, sitting at the announcers booth having a drink when she suddenly spits out her water upon hearing that. Viking King and Dan Foxx just shake they're heads laughing. )-)-)
SMART A$$:
I'll be your love Slave
You may be mean
But you can hump me to my grave"
"You're Extreme
So much tastier than Spam
You're super Fine Maxine
Oh Yeah"
(-(-( The fans cheer at the end of the poem, because it was really deep. Smart A$$ looks of into space whileKevin Kelly scratches his head. )-)-)
SMART A$$: Now If you'll excuse me Kevin, I have to go show some no talent bums what it means to go one on one with Number #1. Oh Yeah!
(-(-( Smart A$$ winks into the camera to a certain someone, and the takes of faster then Jack Acid runningaway from a woman. The camera returns to ringside where Dan Foxx and Viking King are trying their best, which ISN'T working by the way, not to laugh as Maxine has a look of embaressment and rage on her face. She's just looking ahead looking like she wants to kill. )-)-)
MAXINE BAIBE: NOT ... A ... WORD .... Just call the next match.
DAN FOXX: HA HA HA HA HA .. Nenon and Mikey Dredgewheel vs. the Xtreme Shockers .. Ha ha ha ha ha ...
Match Stip: "Dudley-ville Street Fight" Tag-Team Match,
( No. #1 Contender to World Tag-Team Titles )
(-(-( Venom and Dave start off the matchin the ring. Venom and Dave begin to circle each other in the ring. Venom's attention is diverted as Shocker hops off the ring apron. When Venom looks at Shocker, Dave charges and drives a knee into Venom's gut. Venom staggers back into the ropes. Shocker lifts up the apron and pulls out a table. Mikey see's this and hops off the ring apron. Mikey runs around the side of the ring.Shocker lifts up the table to slide into the ring and Mikey dropkicks the table into Shocker. Dave lays in a few shots on Venom. Dave then goes to clothesline Venom over the ropes, but Venom ducks and gets behind Dave. Dave turns around and gets hit with a yakuza kick that sends Dave over the ropes and to the ring floor. Mikey grabs the table and slides it into the ring. Venom walks over to the table and sets it up right in the middle of the ring. Mikey walks over and picks up Shocker off the floor and rolls him into the ring. Venom puts the boots to him as he lays on the mat. Venom picks up Shocker and lays him flat on the table. Venom climbs up to the top rope in a corner. Shocker rolls off the table and rushes over to Venom. Shocker leaps up and low blows Venom. Venom doubles over on the top rope. Shocker grabs Venom charges across the ring and running powerbombs Venom through the table. Shocker rolls up Venom. Mikey slides into the ring ".1 ..2 .."Mikey breaks it up with an elbow to the back of Shocker's head. Dave getsup to his feet at ringside and lifts up the ring skirt. Dave pulls out a ladder and slides it into the ring. Dave pulls out yet another ladder and slides it into the ring as well. Dave slides into the ring and Mikey charges across the ring and boots him in the side of the head. Mikey lays the ladder against one of the corners in the ring. Mikey picks up Shocker and attempts to irish whip him across the ring and into the ladder, but Shocker counters and sends Mikey front first into the ladder. Mikey crashes into the ladder and holds his ribs as he staggers back. Shocker kicks him in the spine. Mikey bends backwards as Dave gets up to his feet. Dave gets behind Mikey. Then, Shocker and Dave both grabs Mikey as if to go for a double reverse DDT, but they lift him up in the air, and flip him into a double stunner. Mikey drops to the mat holding his throat. Dave tells Shocker to take the second ladder and stand it up. Shocker does as he is told. Shocker sets up the ladder and begins to climb. Dave lays the other ladder across Mikey. Venom gets to his feet and is dazed a bit. Venom takes a few steps and dropkicks Dave through the ropes and to the floor at ringside. Shocker sees this and decides to hurry. Shocker leap frogs over the ladder and goes for a senton bomb, but Mikey pushes the ladder off of himself and rolls out of the way. Shocker crashes hard onto the ladder, but Mikey is out of the way. Shocker grabs his back and shouts in agony. Venom kicks Shocker in the jaw to shut him up. Venom then lays Shocker on one of the ladders , then lays the other ladder on Shocker. Dave rolls back into the ring and Mikey manages to drop toe hold Dave onto the ladder on Shocker. Dave's mouth begins to spew out blood. Shocker shouts some more. Venom then dropkicks Dave in the face to cause his nose to bleed. Venom and Mikey then sit Dave on the top rope. Mikey and Venom then climb up to the middle rope on each side of the corner and turn to the ring. They wrap an arm around each of Dave's legs. But suddenly Diva appears at ringside and distracts Mikey. And she teases with him. Shacker grabs a ladder and rams it into Venom. Williams and Shocker then set up a table with the ladders on it. They hoist Mikey as he turns around up into the air and hit the "XTREME SHOCKWAVE" (3-D) on Mikey onto and THRU the table and ladders!! Williams covers ".1 ..2 ...3!!!" )-)-)
DAN FOXX: Shocker and Williams become the No. #1 contenders!!!
MAXINE BAIBE: And that Whore-beast Diva is back. Whoopee ..... I guess I'll have to run her out of the VWF again ...
VIKING KING: Wait!! Something is happening outside of the arena ... Kevin Kelly is standing by .....
(-(-( VWF Unification is underway as the Vikingtron and the television switch to the backstage feed with Kevin Kelly standing by like an idiot as usual. He thinks about picking his nose, but remembers the time on Warzone when he got caught byCurt Evans earlier this week ...so he stops )-)-)
KEVIN KELLY: Folks, we're backstage and if you look to my right you can see a limo pulling up. I'm not sure who it is, but let's go have a look
(-(-( Kevin walks up to the limo and peers inside like a jackass. He gets his face real close to the window to try and look past the black tint. As he gets his face right up to the glass you can hear a thud and the glass bounce slightly, along with Kevin Kelly jumping backwards. The car door opens and a man walks out wearing a black "hold-up" cardboard mask with the eyes popped out so he can see. On the mask is written, "R-P-C-A-R". The man is also wearing an extremely large jacket. His black boots match nicely with his leather black pants. )-)-)
KEVIN KELLY: Uh, who the hell are you??
(-(-( The familiar voice modulated sound of the mans voice comes out loudly... )-)-)
?W?H?O?: Kevin, are you ... retarded ...?
KEVIN KELLY: No, I don't ...
?W?H?O?: Shhhhh ..... it's quiet time now. If you can't get that little noodle workin' fast enough to figure out a small question, then just shut your mouth and give me that damn mic.
It's Unification ... finally here. Finally time for the games to end and the real fun to start. I gotta walk out into that ring tonight and and take on two jackasses in a handi-cap match. If I lose, I get suspended and we never find out who I am. Therefore, I'm NOT going to lose. Do you understand that? That's the bottom line. There's no in betweens, orhalf-way's about it! I win, GUARENTEED!!! What's that Kevin!?!?
KEVIN KELLY: I didn't say .....
?W?H?O?: Oh shut up you little girl. I'm just messin' with ya! *sniff, sniff*...by the aroma in the air it smells like you just messed your pants too. Christ Kevin, you could at least WIPE your ass.
KEVIN KELLY: What!? I didn't even ...
?W?H?O?: Ah, SHUT UP! Kevin, flippin' Kelly. Of all the people that could have been here to meetme for this, it had to be you...god. Hey, Vyndicator, you know, you're not much better than this smelly little pile of dog feces...seeing as how that's exactly what I put in those little wrestling shoes of yours just two days ago. I hopethat all came out all right. I hear a little club soda will take it right outta there....or so I hear. Listen Vyndi-whatever the hell your name is... I've got zero patience right now and when you step into that damn ring tonight you're gonna find out what Zero Patience is and I can guarentee you you're not gonna like it one damn bit! Vyndicator, all you gotta remember is that cold meat is better for a black eye, or should I say, eye"s"!?!? Why do I tell you that?? Well if you can't figure it out than I'm not even gonna waste my breath to explain it. You and that pansy Marcus RavenWaste. You know, I'm gonna have a field day with you two dumbasses. You have got no IDEA what you've gottenyourselves into. Well, at least your, "Leader" over there Gangrel has no idea. What the hell is he supposed to be anyway?? Gangrel, you're not Dracula...no matter how bad you wish you were, you're NOT. Get it!? No? I didn't expect you would. I guess I'll just have to prove a point by beating the holy hell outta little Vyn and Marcus. Speaking of Marcus...you little waste. I can't wait to get my hands around that goofy lookin' thing you call a neck. And when I do, I'm gonna hold on until....well, until the grease from your hair makes me slip. Then, I'm just gonna beat you repeatedly in the head with my damn fist! It's gonna be funny looking at you with that wide-eyed, "I just got my ass beat" look in you face. And yes, there is a "I just got my ass beat" look that you're gonna have. I promise you that. And no matter what you try, no matter where you look you're not gonna find a damn answer!! Left, right, up, down IT DOESN'T MATTER!! I'm simply gonna kick your ass and Vyndicator's ass up and down that damnedring!!! And you know what guys, after I put both you two asses hear that little ringing we like to call...a "ring-bell", I'm walk back up the ramp and walk right back to where I belong...as the VWF Champion. It will happen...and I canguarentee that. You don't believe me?? You don't think that's possible?? PROVE IT! I DARE YOU!!!
Oh, before I forget, come here Kevin....C'mon, don't be shy.
(-(-( Kevin walks over hastily...The man points at the camera and Kelly looks confused. The manpoints again apparently insisting there's something there. Kelly gets a closer look at the lens of the camera, then gets an extremely close look when the man shoves Kelly's face straight into it! Kelly just holds his nose as the man walksinto the main hallway of the arena...Unification goes to a quick excerpt for the Main Event... )-)-)
